It’s Friday…
Ahem…I mean Frightday…
And I have some recommendations for you to enjoy this weekend…
Okay…This Frightday’s theme is…
Cults Are Scary AF.
That’s right, folks…
Cults are scary as fuck…
Whether it’s their snake-eyed, lizard-brained, creepily-charismatic leaders…
Or their Kool-Aid-drinking, sneaker-wearing, every-word-of-the-bullshit-believing followers…
Or maybe it’s their compounds with the same checkout policy as The Hotel California, or a fuckin’ roach motel…
Whatever it is…
The first time a cult scared the ever-loving shit outta me…
Was in the 1973 film…
The Wicker Man…
In this film…
And in all of the other films…
That I am recommending to you…
We put our feet into the shoes of outsiders…
And watch…
Through their eyes…
As these outsiders…
Are gradually exposed to the inner circles…
Of each of the scary AF cults on this list…
And when their secrets are revealed…
That’s right around the time…
That these outsiders…
Are completely fucked…
And we jump right the hell out of their shoes…
And into our favorite pair of shittin’ pants.
So, let’s take a chronological look at the best, most frightening, and possibly even unknown to you, Cults Are Scary AF Movies…In the years following The Wicker Man.
The Believers (1987) – This film comes from legendary director, John Schlesinger…Now this is not a term that I use lightly…Shit…He not only directed Midnight Cowboy…But he gave an entire generation a deep-seated fear of dentists with his bone-chilling thriller…Marathon Man…See what I mean…Totally fucking legendary…Anyway…In this film he explores the dark and disturbing underbelly of cults and cultists…Martin Sheen turns in another intense performance…This time, as Cal Jamison, a recently-widowed father, and a police psychologist…Following his wife’s accidental death…He and his son move to New York City…He gets involved with a case involving a series of bizarre, ritualistic child murders…Through his investigations…Jamison is thrust into the middle of a vast and vicious conspiracy involving not only a cult practicing the dark magic of brujeria…But what he uncovers, also involves a bunch of the most affluent assholes to ever inhabit The Big Apple…Pffft…Fuckin’ rich people…You know I love ’em.
The Shrine (2010) – This is the sophomore effort of Jon Knautz (Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer) and tells the story of a troubled couple that get into an even more troubled situation…We follow Journalist Carmen, played by Cindy Sampson (Supernatural), and her photographer boyfriend Marcus, played by Aaron Ashmore (Smallville)…As the two follow a story about a tourist gone missing in a rural part of Poland…They bring along young and naive intern, Sara and head to a remote and isolated village that right away feels…Well…Wrong…Trevor Matthews (Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer) turns in a menacing and intense performance as Henryk, one of the Polish locals…This one was a completely original concept…And I gotta say…I really dug this disturbing tale of a cult that is scattered, smothered, and covered, in an original version of evil incarnate.
Black Death (2010) – This one has a couple of our old friends from Game of Thrones in it...Sean Bean and Carice van Houten…They are starring alongside the uber-talented Eddie Redmayne (Fantastic Beasts)…In this dark tale from the middle ages…The medieval setting and downright amazing cast compliment the artistry of director Christopher Smith (Severance), who keeps turning out awesome movies…This one is set in 1348, in the midst of a deadly plague…A remote village has been discovered…Where there isn’t a single infected resident…This draws the attention of a bishop, who has heard supernatural tales about this village…To investigate…He sends a young monk, played by Redmayne…Along with a band of mercenaries…And that’s when all sorts of Hell breaks loose…There are very few medieval horror films…Which is surprising considering what an utterly bleak and dismal time period it was…And let me tell you, folks…This one…Was so gawdamn good…That I wish they made more of ’em.
Kill List (2011) – This is the film that turned me on to Ben Wheatley…A film that in the first act…Is a dysfunctional family drama…About a man named Jay…Played by the amazing Neil Maskell (Utopia)…Who is out of work and feeling the overwhelming pressure of not being able to support his family…In the film’s second act…We discover what Jay used to do for a living…And watch the intense, action-packed, ultra-violent nature of his employment…But that third act…Oh man…When it comes…It’s as if this film stood up…Shrugged off it’s pea-coat…Stripped naked…And transformed…And whatever this thing that it had become was…It started running…Newborn, and naked…Through a desiccated cornfield…And when it emerged on the other side…It was unrecognizable from its former self…Forever changed…Which is exactly how I would describe…Those of us that have seen this film…Forever changed.
Jug Face (2013) – Okay…This film…Is a weird little ditty…Played by a moonshine-drunk hillbilly…On a banjo with one-string…It is a freaky, creepy, and original story about some superstitious folk who live in a community that could easily be described as a cult…Lauren Ashley Carter (The Woman) is outstanding as the angst ridden main character Ada…Horror film god, Larry Fessenden stars as Ada’s Pa, Sustin…And the kooky-as-always, Sean Young plays Loriss, her Ma…And for one disturbing scene…Stars as the worst gynecologist since John de Lancie in The Hand That Rocks The Cradle…I absolutely adored the relationship between Ada and the town potter, Dawai, played by Sean Bridgers (Also from The Woman)…Because their relationship unfolded in such an organic, but also, sweet and completely understated way…The connection between these two characters is tantamount to almost any other…With maybe one exception…The relationship that Ada has with her perpetually reticent grandfather…A man whose once-traveled path is revealed to resemble her own…But through it all…These tender, and genuine relationships display a level of caring…That ends up being the true heart of this film.
Starry Eyes (2014) – This film comes from the dynamic duo behind the recent Pet Sematary reboot…Kevin Kölsch, and Dennis Widmyer…And the cult that it uncovers…Touches on the darker side of Hollywood…Much like the film Eat, shined a high-powered spotlight on the torment and shame that a struggling actress endures…This film takes it to another place altogether…A much darker and nefarious place…Alex Essoe (Tales of Halloween, The Neighbor) stars as Sarah…An aspiring actress whose overall struggles are not exclusive to her acting career…Her friendships are strained, at best…And her job as a waitress at a Hooters knock-off is the definition of unrewarding…But, after she jumps through hoops at a series of very unique and macabre auditions…Her whole life…Hell…Everything about her…Begins to change…I loved Essoe’s performance in this…She has shown up in a shit-ton of films since…And when I prepare to watch them…I always go in with a higher level of hopefulness…And it is based solely on this performance right here.
The Invitation (2015) – This film was directed by Karyn Kusama, who was heralded for her debut film, Girlfight…But maligned for her next two films…Rightfully so, for the 2005 shit-show that was Aeon Flux…But in my humble opinion, not so rightfully so for her next film, Jennifer’s Body…In this mysterious slow burn horror film…Will, who is played to perfection by Logan Marshall-Green (Upgrade)…Takes his new girlfriend, Kira, to a very special dinner party…His ex-wife and her new husband have invited all of their old friends back together for a reunion…Of sorts…There is little more about the plot, or story that needs to be said…The tension that gets ignited rather quickly…Keeps the suspenseful home fires burning all the way through…To the thrilling, and frightening climax…And that’s truly what a slow burn should be…A tense, pulse-racing, heart-pounding, emotionally-fueled, film that keeps you intrigued while you sit on the edge of your seat…Waiting for the burn…And when it comes…And the nature of the cult in this film is finally revealed…Oh man…You’re gonna need to stock up on the aloe gel.
The Endless (2017) – Whenever I am in the mood for a wee bit of mindfuckery…Directors Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead are my go to guys…Their films have made my head spin, my eyes roll back in my head, and made me feel like I’m having that long-awaited acid flashback that was promised to me all those years ago…With this film…They take their masterfully manufactured mindfuckery and relocate it way out into creepy cult country…The directors also star in this one…Playing brothers aptly named Justin and Aaron…Each with different memories of they place where they grew up called, Camp Arcadia…One brother recalls the experience as living in a peaceful commune…The other…As surviving a deadly cult…And when the brothers receive a mysterious videotape from Camp Arcadia…They decide to leave behind the half-lives that they have been living…And go back to where it all began…And that folks…Is when Justin and Aaron take us to the weirdest cult on this whole damn list.
The Video Store Clerk 