Dad! Whoa man, am I glad to see you…
There’s this gate to Hell in the backyard, and…
Um…
Oh…So you already know about it, then.
Well…It’s Thursday, and you know what that means…
For some of you, it will be a thirsty one…
For others, it’s not a time to throw back a cold one…
But instead, a time to dust off an old copy of a forgotten film…
So bust out the ol’ top-loading VHS player, the LaserVision, or the Betamax and watch yourself…
A Throwback Thursday Classic.
The Gate (1987) – This is sort of a Home Alone meets Hellraiser…It’s the story of two pre-teen friends…
Named Bill Gates and Stephen Dorff.
Just kidding…
But to be honest…Terry and Glen are indeed friends, and Glen is indeed played by Stephen Dorff…
In this story, these two boys are both leaning on eachother…Terry leans on Glen due to the death of his mother the previous year, and Glen leans on Terry due to the demise of the once close relationship he had with his tom-boy sister Al…
I’ve always loved when the main characters in a scary flick are kids…You lose the skepticism right away…When supernatural horror comes to town, and the adults are the ones dealing with it, they require explanation, and proof, and that shit takes time…When the kids are running the show, it’s like…
Aw shit, we got demons in the backyard…
Kids take it in stride, man…
Your friend tells you a story about a workman who died while building your home, and when he pops out of the drywall all zombified…
You look at it and say…”It’s the workman.”
Taking it in stride.
Your friend goes a little evil on you and bites the ever-loving shit outta your hand…
So your sister stabs him in the eye with a Barbie doll.
Taking it in stride.
You discover a demon eyeball in the palm of your hand…
You grab a hunk of broken glass from a dirty bucket and stab that shit.
Taking it in stride.
There’s no…What’re we gonna do? They just freakin’ do it.
These kids are in a dire situation that keeps getting worse as time ticks on…They’ve got demonic moths, levitation, dead dogs, live moms, zombie workmen, fake parents, dwarf demons, annoying 80’s teenage girls, and a really freakin’ huge demon…
But I’m telling you, kids are tough, they are resilient…
And these kids deal with a gateway to Hell like they were the freakin’ Winchesters.
Get in your way back machine…
Set the dial for 1987…
Put a little European Death Metal on your Sony Walkman…
And watch The Gate…
A Throwback Thursday Classic.
The Video Store Clerk 