Extinction: An Under The Radar Zombie Movie

This is what going on a run looks like…

When the zombie apocalypse is punctuated by perpetual winter.

 

Big surprise…Once again, the god-forsaken Tomatometer tried to make me not watch a movie…Let me rephrase that…Tried to make me not watch a good movie.

 

Extinction (2015) – I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, to push a zombie movie over the top, you’ve got to give us something new…Now, I’ve already mentioned that this time the all-they-can-eat zombie apocalypse dinner special comes with never-ending Unbaked Alaska for dessert…But how bout we throw in “evolved” zombies? And by evolved I don’t mean the sort-of-thinking-but-still-willing-to-look-at-the-fireworks-sometimes-because-they’re-pretty evolved zombies from Land of the Dead…No I’m talking about a zombie that has changed on the genetic level…

I’m talking…

Yeah…That’s what I’m talkin’ bout.

The three main characters in this film believe that the zombies have been killed off, or maybe even left, because of the nine years of perpetual winter…

They were wrong…

The zombies were not gone…

They were becoming.

The other thing this zombie film had, was heart…Fans of The Walking Dead will slide easily into this world of fractured family, failed friendships, faltering faith, and forced forgiveness…Much like The Battery, this was another zombie film where the interplay between the characters is as crucial to the storytelling, as the zombies themselves.

Let’s break it down then, shall we?

You’ve got what looks like a nuclear winter as your backdrop….Zombies that have evolved to better suit that environment…And also, a well-crafted story delivered by the three main characters, and played by actors whose performances were all filled with believable depth.

 

So screw you, Tomatometer…Screw you, and your disdain for horror movies…Screw you, and the score of 25% that you gave this film.

I know, I know…You’re all like…

“Come on man, it’s just aggregate data, it’s not Matermeter’s fault!”

But isn’t it?

If your website is designed to guide people toward or away from the films that you list there, then you have an obligation to not only your visitors, but also those films, to present that data fairly. If the guy who absolutely loved The Notebook reviews Killer Klowns From Outer Space, he’s going to hate it, simply because it’s not his kind of movie…

Fans of horror films will endure so many bad ones in order to get to the inevitable good, or maybe even great one…We all do it…It’s sort of like swimming through a lake of hot poo just to make it to an island of corn…

We’ve all had to tolerate the stinkers in the horror genre that have no redeeming qualities, because it was our only path to the decent films…And when I see the stinkers, I call ’em like I see ’em…

 

But me, I absolutely LOVE horror…

 

In my opinion, movie reviews and their reviewers should be broken down into categories, just like the movies themselves are…

This would change everything, not just for the horror genre…

Screwball Comedies…Rom-Coms…Sci-Fi…Cult Classics…Fantasy…Action…

They’ve all been subject to the same snot-nosed, uptight. artsy-fartsy harsh critiquing that horror films have had to endure.

 

I cannot offer you a tomato…Or a splat…Or even a percentage of aggregate data for Extinction…

Instead, I offer just a simple recommendation…

See. This. Movie.

 

 

Little Big Screen Recommendations: Hap and Leonard

The creative coalescence that’s taking place this Wednesday night, at 10:00 p.m. on Sundance TV, is a horror fans dream come true…No, you’re right, Hap and Leonard is not horror…

Or is it?…

Ancestrally speaking, this show contains many of the genetic markers that tie it to the larger world of great horror stories.

 

So, let’s start with the origin…

Prolific horror novelist Joe R. Lansdale not only created a series of nine novels and a bucketload of stories where Hap Collins and Leonard Pine are the main characters…

But he was also the brainchild behind classics like, Bubba Ho-Tep, The Bottoms, A Fine Dark Line, Cold In July, and The Drive-In series…

He is to East Texas, what Stephen King is to Maine…

The worlds he creates are rich with diverse characters, and his stories resonate with a palpable dread and stark, frightening images that are permanently stored in your brain’s file cabinets…And a chill runs through you every time your memory decides to re-open one of the files.

 

Now let’s move on to the showrunners…

Together, Jim Mickle and Nick Damici have created some of my favorite, and most original horror films of the last decade.

It all started in 2006 when the two co-wrote the script for Mulberry St., a film also directed by Mickle, and starring Damici…

As the film’s bad-ass…Clutch.

It’s a viral apocalypse film that moves fluidly along the same current as a zombie flick…What becomes of the infected humans though, is entirely original, and will probably make your goose-pimpled skin crawl.

 

Next, came Stake Land, a film that once again was co-written by this dynamic duo, and once again directed by Mickle and once again starring Damici…

As the film’s bad-ass, Mister.

With this film came a whole new horror sub-genre…The Vampire Apocalypse Movie…

Again this carries the same vibe as a zombie apocalypse  film, where the apocalypse has been well under way for a while…The desolation, the desperation, the devastation…Check, check and check.

 

Then they teamed up for a surprisingly original re-imagining of a 2010 film by Jorge Michel Grau, called We Are What We Are…

This was a very creepy, very groovy film…Damici and Mickle co-wrote the script, and Mickle directed, Damici did not play the film’s bad-ass (unfortunately, because he’s a freakin’ bad-ass), in this one, he’s the local sheriff.

 

And then…The two worlds collided.

In Cold In July, the three horror icons came together and the result was a taut, intensely gripping Ordinary Average Guy thriller…

Mickle and Damici captured that 80’s East Texas thang…A thang that I thought would be much like capturing lightning in a mason jar…

And somehow, they did it.

And now they’re at it again…This time the meeting of the three great minds are coming together to create a television series for Sundance TV…Bringing to life a pair of Lansdale’s most memorable characters…Hap and Leonard.

 

So horror fans…

You can see they’ve got the street cred.

Check out Hap and Leonard…

Or don’t…

But don’t come whinin’ when you find out it’s awesome…

I will tell you “I told you so.”

 

Thrillers, Chillers, and Serial Killers: These Are The People In Your Neighborhood Edition

Is the song stuck in your head yet?

Good.

There’s one kind of movie that gets stuck in my head like a song from Sesame Street…And it’s a These Are the People in Your Neighborhood movie…This is a category, that starts on one end of the spectrum with thought-provoking, and mind-bending Mystery & Suspense, and goes all the way into the dark, and bloody recesses of Horror. The really great thing about these films, is that they are chained to reality like a kidnap victim to a radiator. And in reality, the greatest danger you face each and every day…

Lives in a house…

 

Just like yours…

 

Right…Down…The…Street.

Let’s take a chronological look at the best, most underrated, and possibly even unknown to you, These Are The People In Your Neighborhood – Thrillers, Chillers, and Serial Killers Movies that you may not have seen…But should.

 

May (2002) – Lucky McKee (The Woman) made his stunning debut with a film that lets you know just what kind of filmmaker you’re dealing with. He wrote and directed this warped tale of a strange girl who’s desperate attempt to connect with people makes her do so by any bizarre and unnatural means possible. Angela Bettis is at her absolute creepiest as the title character, whose only friend is a creepy doll her creepy Mom gave her for her birthday…Damn, that’s a lot of creepy…She crushes out on Adam, played by Jeremy Sisto, and has a pseudo-lesbian affair with co-worker Polly, played by Anna Faris, and then…Her doll breaks…And all Hell breaks loose.

 

The Disappearance of Alice Creed (2009) – This intense kidnap thriller from across the pond has a small, talented cast…Two men kidnap Alice Creed and take her to a crusty apartment, secure her and set her up for what seems to be a ransom scenario. The interplay between not only the two kidnappers, but also the give and take between the captors and their captive, drives the story down a deluge of dirty. dingy detours. Gemma Arterton (Byzantium) plays Alice and delivers an outstanding performance as a woman walking the line between both victim and heroine…Martin Compston and the chameleonesque Eddie Marsan are the kidnappers who have their hands more than full with their chosen victim. This film will drag you along, by your feet, down a gravel path, as fast as it possibly can. 

 

The Perfect Host (2010) – David Hyde Pierce was incredible and surprising in this movie that scooted along under my radar until a few weeks ago…And, oh…What a treat it was! It keeps twisting, turning, and transforming with each passing scene, and ultimately leaves the audience with a serious case of whiplash. It’s basically a home-invasion flick, but man, it’s unlike any other you’ve ever seen. 

 

Stoker (2013) – In Chan-wook Park‘s American debut, he departs from the intense revenge flicks he’s become so associated with, to bring to life a tale of family, of dysfunction, and of mental illness…Quite a leap from the visceral intensity of Park’s Oldboy, this film is atmospheric, and charmingly creeptastic. Top notch performances all around in this one, but I must give nods to both Mia Wasikowska as India, and Matthew Goode as Uncle Charlie…The way these two characters evolve at the same time, while remaining intertwined, like kudzu growing on the side of a southern highway, is unsettling to say the least.

 

Housebound (2014) – New Zealand has in my opinion, officially replaced France for being the source of original horror films outside of the U.S. Their horror films all have a sprinkling of humor, and are never afraid to deliver on the gore…This film is no different…Kylie is both angry and despondent as she is forced by the court to be under house arrest at the home where she grew up. With utter disdain and devoid of all respect for her parents, she begrudgingly personifies the phrase, misery loves company, and makes her parents as miserable as she feels. Her mother, Miriam believes that the family home is haunted, and although Kylie at first writes her off as a blathering blabbermouth, she starts to wonder if maybe her mum might actually be on to something.

 

Intruders (2015) – My friend Jason recommended this film to me, and the dude was once again spot on…Here’s another new and intriguing twist on the home invasion film, this time with an agoraphobic named Anna, played by Beth Riesgraf (Leverage). She is caring for her terminally ill brother, and befriends the only person close to being a companion, her brother’s meals on wheels delivery man. Mr. Meals on Wheels is played by Rory Culkin (What? Another Culkin???), and he tells his sketchy friends about the good deed of Anna, when she attempted to give him cash to help him out. The sketchy friends arrange a break-in while she attends her brother’s funeral, and boy aren’t they surprised by Anna when they get there…And not just because they didn’t know she was home.

21st Century Cult Classics: God Bless America

Cult Classics…You know I love ’em!

But what exactly makes a cult classic?

Typically it’s a film that speaks to a particular group of people, and becomes popular among that small but fiercely loyal fan base…

Although, it may not ever be critically acclaimed…

And it may not ever win big at the box office… 

That’s okay, because it has us…

The fans…

Quoting the films…

Wearing the T-Shirts…

Spreading the love for a cult classic, like a virus spread by word of mouth.

 

God Bless America (2011) – Writer/Director Bobcat Goldthwait has already earned a sweet spot on the list of the best Cult Classics, with his debut, Shakes the Clown…Rarely is it that I find a dark comedy that is equal parts dark and comic…Typically, the laughs usually get left behind. But not in this sardonic social commentary piece. Joel Murray plays Frank, a man who after discovering that his daughter is a spoiled brat,  losing his job, and being diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor, decides to end it all. As he sits there, about to do the deed, he witnesses the epitome of entitled douche-baggery on a show modeled after My Super Sweet Sixteen. Frank decides that before he dies…He must take out as many of life’s everyday assholes as he can…

Starting with Chloe, the spoiled “star” of the reality show.

While there, Frank meets Roxy, played by Tara Lynne Barr, a classmate of Chloe’s, who at first seems sweet and innocent…

Until she doesn’t.

She joins Frank, and the two head out on a Mickey and Mallory style killing spree…And as the tagline says…They take out the trash…One jerk at a time.

Goldthwait’s view of American society and our fame-obsessed, hyper-sexualized, couch-potatoism is right on the freakin’ nose. There is a scene where Frank and Roxy endure the downside of going to the movies when teenagers are present…The teens are talking loudly…Answering their cellphones…And throwing popcorn…Until Frank and Roxy gun them all down…

Nowadays, a movie that even thinks about depicting a theater shooting wouldn’t get produced…

But do me a favor…Screw political correctness for five fuckin’ seconds…

And be thankful that this movie was released before that sack of crap shot innocent moviegoers…

And then watch this ultra-violent, shamefully funny 21st Century Cult Classic.

 

21st Century Cult Classics: Deathgasm…I mean…DETHGASM, because lower case is for pussies.

Cult Classics…You know I love ’em!

But what exactly makes a cult classic?

Typically it’s a film that speaks to a particular group of people, and becomes popular among that small but fiercely loyal fanbase…Although, it may not ever be critically acclaimed…And it may not ever win big at the box office…

That’s okay, because it has us…The fans…Quoting the films…Wearing the T-Shirts…Spreading the love for a cult classic, like a virus spread by word of mouth.

 

Deathgasm (2015) – This is a film that takes place in the 1980’s in suburban New Zealand, and truly captures that 80’s horror movie feel…80’s movie feel…Now, what does that even mean?

Let’s start with the fact that this movie never took itself too seriously…

Take this scene for a perfect example…Depicting what it was like for the character of Medina, upon her hearing heavy metal for the first time.

 

You’ve also got kids dressed like metal-heads…And the long forgotten sight of nerds playing Dungeons & Dragons…Which of course, brings forth the Karate Kid-style high school bullying…But the kills…Oh, man…The kills…They are outlandish, bloody, and test the boundaries of belief…80’s, man…Like, so totally 80’s.

 

This film tells the tale of outcast metal-head, Brodie, played by Milo Cawthorne (Blood Punch) who is forced to move in with his aunt and uncle in a small town “in the middle of ass-fuck nowhere.” He meets the only other metal-head in town, Zakk…At first it seemed like it was the best thing that could’ve happened to him, until it wasn’t…The two break into a house rumored to be owned by a legendary metal musician and Satanist, Rikki Daggers, and discover a demon summoning spell in the form of sheet music called the Black Hymn…Their newly formed metal band brings the sheet music to life, and literally…All Hell breaks loose.

 

This movie was born when The Gate and Detroit Rock City got together for a hook-up at the drive-in, fogging up the back windows of a Dodge Dart and then nine months later, BAM!

 

Or maybe you should think of this movie as a teenage boy.

That’s right, I said it…It’s a teenage boy.

Messy…Hypersexual…Destructive…Violent…And snarky as Hell.

 

Fans of 80’s horror movies will be happy…Fans of metal will be psyched…Fans of both will be freakin’ ecstatic! And these are the aforementioned fans that will guarantee Deathgasm becomes a 21st Century Cult Classic.

And of course…Long live The Brotherhood of Steel.

Thrillers, Chillers, and Serial Killers: Couples Retreat Edition

Things don’t always work out that great for couples on the big screen, like Bonnie and Clyde…Hell, even in romantic films like Romeo and Juliet…

 

…Oooh! Remember Jack and Rose?

Yep, you’re right…Didn’t work out that great. 

 

But that being said, imagine how great things work out for couples in the Thrillers, Chillers, and Serial Killers category…Wait, why imagine?…Let me think…

 

…Oooh! Remember Burt and Vicky?

Yep, in Children of the Corn, this couple took a road trip into Hell’s Day Care, in an attempt to work on their relationship…And, things worked out a wee bit worse for them, then it did for Jack and Rose, don’t ya think?

 

Let’s take a chronological look at the best, most underrated, and possibly even unknown to you, Couples Retreat – Thrillers, Chillers, and Serial Killers Movies that you may not have seen…But should.

 

Dead Calm (1989) – Nicole Kidman and Sam Neill play an Aussie couple who are on a sailing trip to help them forget about a terrible accident…They discover a boat adrift with one surviving passenger aboard…Billy Zane (What is it with this guy and boat movies?…Titanic…Survival Island)…Once on board, he shows his true colors, and the couple are oh so glad he waited until coming aboard to reveal them…Great performances all around, and the trapped environment of a sailboat on an endless sea offers a nice dose of claustrophobia to the audience.

 

Eden Lake (2008) – Kelly Reilly and Michael Fassbender play an English couple on a idyllic getaway…Planning to propose, Steve brings Jenny to a remote, lakeside campsite for the weekend…All of their plans go awry when a group of teenage…Um…Whippersnappers…No…Rapscallions…Not quite…Scallywags…Nuh-uh…Got it!…Assholes!…Yes!…When a group of teenage assholes decide to alleviate their perpetual boredom with the torture and abuse of these two innocent strangers. These are early roles for both of the lead actors, and it is great to see them before they became a name brand. 

 

Transsiberian (2008) – From Brad Anderson, who has brought us such delights as, Session 9, The Machinist, and Vanishing on 7th Street, comes this tale of an American couple taking a scenic trip home on the Transsiberian Railway, after volunteering in China. Woody Harrelson and Emily Mortimer play the couple whose lives get entangled with a shady couple sharing the train ride with them played by, Kate Mara and Eduardo Noriega…Cold, tense, and unexpected, this film stuck with me…One of the best and most original thrillers I’ve seen in a long time. 

 

A Perfect Getaway (2009)– David Twohy (All things Riddick related) brings us a tale of island vacationers…Steve Zahn and Milla Jovovich play our couple…No, wait…Chris Hemsworth and Marley Shelton play our couple…Um, no…Timothy Olyphant and Kiele Sanchez play our couple…Aaahhh, screw it…Just watch the damn thing, okay?

 Sightseers (2012) – Ben Wheatley (Kill List & A Field in England) created this darkly comic horror film about a couple on a camping caravan holiday. Chris and Tina travel the countryside and with each mile under them…with each rest stop…with each overnight stay…Things keep getting worse for our couple…And, better for the audience. Their tale swirls and spirals like a bus station toilet getting flushed, and you just can’t look away…From the movie, I mean…Not the toilet.

In Fear (2013) – Imagine if you will…You’ve been dating this girl for a couple weeks…Things aren’t that serious yet…You invite her to join you and some friends as you attend a festival in Ireland…As a nice surprise, you book a room at a secluded inn…She figures out pretty quickly that you are trying to bone her, albeit in the most romantic way you could muster, but she still figures it out…Now it’s a wee bit awkward in the car…Horny cat out of the bag, and all that…Couldn’t get worse than that, could it?…Oh yeah?…Imagine The Strangers meets Groundhog Day.

 

Honeymoon (2014) – In this one, our couple is played by Rose Leslie (“You know nuthin’ John Snow”) and Harry Treadaway (Penny Dreadful) and they are on honeymoon in a rustic cabin in the woods…Yeah, you heard me right, I didn’t say Cancun, I said a cabin in the woods…If that wasn’t bad enough, the newlyweds are experiecing some really messed-up and unexplainable things. The strain of a new marriage getting put to the test, along with these mysterious occurrences, actually doubles the level of tension…The audience becomes uncomfortable being present in either scenario.

Thrillers, Chillers, and Serial Killers: Ordinary Average Guy, or Girl Edition

Love this kind of movie…The category…Just to break it down for ya…It’s when a regular guy, or girl gets thrust into an unusual and extreme situation…And then they manage to pull it out of their ass somehow.

 

 Like this one…Perfect example.

Just kidding…But, The Man With One Red Shoe does fit the qualifications…With one minor exception…It’s an 80’s screwball comedy…What I meant to say was…

 

…Like this one.

Despite what you may think, in Marathon Man, Sir Lawrence Olivier does not play a family dentist…Nope, he plays a Nazi war criminal who has a penchant for oral hygiene…And torture. Dustin Hoffman is our Ordinary Average Guy, who knows nothing of the shit stew that his closet secret agent brother has dumped him into.

 

Let’s take a chronological look at the best, most underrated, and possibly even unknown to you, Ordinary Average Guy, or Girl – Thrillers, Chillers, and Serial Killers Movies that you may not have seen…But should.

 

The River Wild (1994) – Right before he brought the noir masterpiece, L.A. Confidential to life, director Curtis Hanson crafted this tale that gets your stomach good and knotted up. Nothing worse than your family being in jeopardy…You’d do just about anything to protect them…The Streep herself plays the matriarchal protagonist, and Kevin Bacon is devilishy good in the role of evil antagonist…Somewhat sheepish at first, the father played by the amazing David Strathairn, somehow manages to show up, and nut up for the intense final act.

Panic Room (2002) – Fans of David Fincher have already gobbled this little morsel up…But if you are not a ravenous fan of his work, now’s your chance to visit a lesser known entry. Jodie Foster plays Meg Altman, and a pre-Twilight Kristen Stewart plays her diabetic daughter, Sarah. The two lock themselves in a panic room in their newly purchased home when intruders break in, searching for a lost fortune…Tension is boundless in this film, and Jared Leto, Forest Whitaker, and Dwight Yoakam are wonderful as the source of the tension. Fincher is one of my all-time favorite directors, and I have seen everything he’s done (including Madonna music videos, ugh) and if you haven’t travelled through his filmography, start with the much-maligned Alien3, then work your way right through to Gone Girl.

 

 

Red Eye (2005) – Horror Master Wes Craven gave life to this intensely claustrophobic and riveting thriller…It’s girl next door Rachel McAdams (Mean Girls) vs. killer next door Cillian Murphy (Peaky Blinders)…Oh yeah, and on a freakin’ plane! Our ordinary girl in this one is a hotel manager who must move an imortant political figure to a different room to expedite his assassination, and if she doesn’t, her father dies…She does an amazing job at adapting to her new and horrifying environment…So much so, that at certain moments…I cheered uproariously.

  

The Descent (2005) – I know that a great number of you have already seen Neil Marshall‘s phenomenal sophomore effort…But those that haven’t…Buckle up buttercups, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride. This film, which is the opposite of a sausage fest, has a group of women spelunking in a cave full of Nosferatu-looking creatures the director dubbed, “Crawlers” and fighting to survive…There are twists and turns, and one of those twists changes everything for our main heroine, Sarah played by, Shauna Macdonald…And when it comes…Ooooof…Gut-punches all around.

 

  
You’re Next (2013) – Before creating one of my all-time favorites…The Guest, Adam Wingard directed this whacked-out home invasion movie with some nice simple twists. Sharni Vinson plays Erin, a seemingly meek victim in the horrific attack on her boyfriend’s family home…She is the ordinary girl, who gets thrust into an awful, and horrifying situation, and does her level best to escape the carnage that has been laid out before her…Ain’t sayin’ much more…If you haven’t seen this…You’ll thank me for keeping my spoiler-filled trap shut.

 

Cold In July (2014) – This is the dark tale of an ordinary guy played by Michael C. Hall (Dexter) who gets pulled into the seedy underside of a small East Texas town. Based on a novel by Joe R. Lansdale and written and directed by a duo that will be bringing the amazing Lansdale characters, Hap Collins and Leonard Pine to life in March…Jim Mickle and Nick Damici…I’ve loved all of the films these guys have touched…Mulberry St., an almost zombie film about a strange mutating virus hitting NYC…Stake Land, a vampire apocalypse movie, that is a more bleak and dessicated world than any other vampire film I’ve ever seen…And…We Are What We Are, a bizarre and totally twisted tale of family obligation and coerced loyalty. Watch ’em all, folks.

 

 

Thrillers, Chillers, and Serial Killers: It’s You and Me, Kid Edition

Some of the best psychological thrillers out there, have a very limited cast, and with some, the tension is allowed to build between just two main characters, until an inevitable pulse-pounding climax…

 

…Like it did in this film.

Wait…So, you’re saying that My Dinner with Andre wasn’t a psychological thriller?…Oh yeah, that’s right…What I meant to say was…

 

…Like it did in this film.

In Steven Spielberg‘s debut telefilm, Duel, he crafted a masterpiece using that exact same formula…The two characters battle it out in a relentless struggle that reeks of pure desperation and unbridled panic on one side, and pure determination and unbridled rage on the other.

 

Let’s take a chronological look at the best, most underrated, and possibly even unknown to you, It’s You and Me, Kid – Thrillers, Chillers, and Serial Killers Movies that you may not have seen…But should.

 

 

Hard Candy (2005) – A couple years before busting out onto everyone’s radar with her amazing performance in Juno, Ellen Page starred in this taut, intense little bastard of a flick…She plays Hayley Stark, a fourteen year old vigilante who preys upon Jeff Kohlver. played by Patrick Wilson, a man who meets her to hook up and take some pictures of her…And yes…She tells Jeff that she is fourteen…Several times…It’s a one vs. one film at it’s finest. Both actors are playing out of type, and are at the top of their respective games…This movie is a twisted monkey…And I loved it.

Moon (2009) – Duncan Jones (who just so happens to be David Bowie’s kid), had a mind-bending, skull-bashing, nerve-wracking debut with Moon. His follow-up Source Code, is also guaranteed to warp your brain, but let’s get back to Moon. Sam Rockwell plays Sam Bell, an astronaut alone on the moon with one companion, a computer named GERTY (voiced by Kevin Spacey). He is forced to mine moon rocks for three years, to provide an alternative energy source to his home planet below. This must-see movie is bleak, isolating, and downright innovative. 

Buried (2010) – If you were thinking that Ryan Reynolds is just a funny guy…Like he was in  Van Wilder, or an action hero…Like he was in Deadpool. Well, let me tell ya…Watch this film, and The Voices, if you want to see what this cat’s made of. In Buried, Ryan Reynolds carries the entire film on his chest, as he spends the entire movie on his back, in a coffin, buried underground…His only co-star is the cellphone that connects him to a few choice people…His captors…His employers…And his wife. I know what you’re thinking…How can I watch a movie that takes place inside a coffin for ninety minutes? Um…Because I said so, that’s how.

Creep (2014) – This is a film that gets right under your epidermis…It was directed by Patrick Brice, which he co-wrote with Mark Duplass, and then they cast themselves in the two roles…Brice plays Aaron, a videographer for hire who travels to a remote mountain home to film a terminally-ill man for the day, named Josef, played by Duplass. Known for writing and creating films like Cyrus, and Jeff, Who Lives at Home, with his brother Jay Duplass, and for his comedic roles in HBO’s Togetherness, and Safety Not Guaranteed, Duplass takes it to the dark side in this one…And let me tell you, he truly is…A Creep.

 

Curve (2015) – Surprised by this simple little survival film, I found the performances of Julianne Hough and Teddy Sears and the well written script by Kimberly Lofstrom Johnson were what made it work. The story is simple and taut. Mallory picks up Christian, a drifter whose sweet demeanor turns sour rather quickly…And, in an attempt to survive a dangerous life or death situation, she propels herself into an even more dangerous life or death situation. Hough’s performance is light years from the girl who was Dancing with the Stars, and  Sears, whom I had only seen play nice guys like, Jay Garrick on TV’s The Flash, was surprising, and outstanding as the film’s villian.

Thrillers, Chillers, and Serial Killers: The Revenge Flick Edition

Hello.

My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

 

Ahhh…Revenge…Whether served ice cold or hot off the grill, the Revenge Flick is one of my favorites…And there’s one thing you can always count on getting from a Revenge Flick…Resolution.

Nothing worse than the over-stylized, over-done question mark at the end of a film…Sorry, but if you wanted me to come up with an ending for your script, you should probably go ahead and put my name in the credits, or at the very least, cut me a royalty check.

 

Let’s take a chronological look at the best, most underrated, and possibly even unknown to you, Revenge Flicks – Thrillers, Chillers, and Serial Killers Movies that you may not have seen…But should.

 

 

The Limey (1999) – Terence Stamp plays Wilson, a british fish out of water who’s in Los Angeles to find those responsible for his daughter’s death…It was directed by the talented Steven Soderbergh, and is a revenge flick that has almost as much drama as it does action. All right…Enough of the blah blah blah…Hey Terence, give them an idea of what this movie’s all about, would ya?

‘Nuff said.

 

Death Sentence (2007) – Directed by James Wan(Saw, Insidious, Conjuring, etc.), and starring Kevin Bacon (Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon), this revenge flick was panned by critics…And I couldn’t disagree with them more. Too often critics trash a film and we the viewers believe them, and wind up waiting years to see a film, when word of mouth finally reaches our ears. I cannot tell you how many times I have been blown out of my seat by a film that got 2% on the friggin’ tomatometer. Especially genre films like horror and sci-fi…Critics are down right abusive…I am starting to learn that when it comes to the darker side of film, I prefer to get my recommendations not from critics, but from fans who happen to be critics…Anyway…Simply put, it was a great tale of vengeance…A man scrambling to avenge family against insurmountable odds…There were enough gut-punches in this one to last a lifetime, but enough resolution to counterbalance each and every one of them. 

 

Death Proof (2007) – Tarantino brought us this little gem, as one half of the Grindhouse double feature that he and Robert Rodriguez unleashed in 2007. Kurt Russell plays Stuntman Mike, a former stuntman turned serial killer who initially uses a modified, or death proof as he calls it, ’70 Chevy Nova to murder his victims…When he returns to kill again, this time behind the wheel of ’69 Charger, Stuntman Mike chooses the wrong victims…Stuntwomen…And boy, does it start getting interesting when he does…Zoë Bell (Raze) was insane in this, just by doing what she does best, and finally this bad-ass chick got credit for her amazing on screen stunts…In case you were curious, every kick-ass moment Uma Thurman had in the Kill Bill movies…That was Zoë Bell.

 

Red (2008) – This film was initially directed by Lucky McKee, who got fired just before principal shooting was completed, but he left his stank all over this movie…Brian Cox plays Avery, a simple man living a simple life with his ol’ dog, Red. The 14 year old dog is all the man has left, and when a pack of dick-headed teenagers kill Red for shits and giggles, he spends the rest of the film seeking retribution…One pimply faced douche-nozzle at a time.

 

The Loved Ones (2009) – Inarguably one of my all-time favorite films, The Loved Ones  was an amazing debut by Tasmanian writer/director Sean Byrne. It tells the story of a girl named Lola who asked fellow student Brent to go to the prom with her…All I can say from here on out is…He should’ve said yes…

Seriously…

That’s all I’m saying…

I just want you to watch this.

American Mary (2012) – In a genre shared by the film, Excision, this surgical fetish horror created by the Soska Twins, brings a dark underbelly of society bubbling up to the surface. Katharine Isabelle (Ginger Snaps) plays medical student Mary Mason, a girl who reluctantly gets involved with this bizarre subsect of society…And it is a calvalcade of freaks and weirdos that will likely make the skin crawl right off your body. It is a society that I will neither be a part of, nor even stop in for a visit…Mary seems equally repulsed by what she finds there, but after being drugged and raped by a former teacher, she chooses to dive head first into the life of a Fetish Surgeon…And practices her skills on a victim who once victimized her.

 

Avenged (2013) – Also known as Savaged,  this film is a genuine surprise…Low Budget + No-Name Cast usually doesn’t equal success, but this time it did…Amanda Adrienne Smith plays Zoe, a deaf girl on a road trip alone who gets raped and brutalized by a gang of rednecks with a family tree full of people proud of murdering Apaches…She is buried and left for dead, until West, a Neo-Shaman performs a ritual bringing her back from the abyss…She comes back with two things, an angry Apache spirit inside of her, and a taste for sweet, sweet vengeance…There is a great contrast here…You have this wispy little deaf girl becoming the fierce embodiment of hundreds of years of aggression against Native Americans…But let’s not forget the fact that wispy little girls have had to face even more years of aggression…Which ends up making this vengeful hostess that much more deadly.

 

Blue Ruin (2013) – This is the sophomore effort of Jeremy Saulnier whose debut was the twisted and hysterical low-budget horror, Murder Party…The story here…Ever since his parents were murdered, Dwight has been a beach bum…Until he learns that the man responsible is about to be released from prison…Then he becomes the personification of hapless, clumsy vengeance…It is the most honest, and nerve-wracking portrayal of revenge…If a regular guy decided to balance the scales of justice, it would look a helluva lot like this…This was one of my favorite films of 2013…It was raw, unfiltered, and scruffy-looking…Like life is…When a filmmaker captures the essence of what we call real life, it transcends watching a movie, and the audience finds themselves lost in the experience…Watch Saulnier, and watch his next film Green Room…He’s got the stuff, I promise.

 

John Wick (2014) – The first time director of this soon to be cult classic is Chad Stahelski, who just so happens to have started his career as Keanu Reeves‘ stunt double in The Matrix…Small freakin’ world, eh?…Just like in the afforementioned Red,  you don’t fuck with someone’s dog…You just don’t…Keanu Reeves plays the title character who lost his wife to an illness…Before her death, she arranges the delivery of a beagle puppy named Daisy to arrive after her passing, in an attempt to ease John’s pain…As he begins to bond with the puppy, he runs into a trio of Russian mobsters who want to purchase his car. After he refuses, they follow him home and knock him out, take his car, and…

Kill…His…Puppy.

Bound to Vengeance (2015) – In most revenge flicks, the audience must endure an hour of torture and abuse before the victim becomes the victor…Not in this one…Nope…Tina Ivlev plays Eve, who right away gets the upper hand with her captor played by, Richard Tyson (Three O’Clock High) and demands that he help her. She walks him like a dog on a leash from place to place, attempting to release any other victims, and punish any other perpetrators. Although at times, the audience will be faced with random rivers of unbelievability…Not to worry folks, the premise of this dark and dirty little revenge tale will carry you across the bridge to the other side.

Under The Radar Monster Movies: Your Kid Is A Monster Edition

There was a movie that aired on network TV, all the time in the late 70’s…The Other. It was directed by Robert Mulligan (To Kill A Mockingbird), and although it wasn’t his absolute best movie, it was the absolute best way to inform me that my fellow children were potentially dangerous.

 

Just take a look at Niles…Awww, he’s so cute…What’s that he’s doing?…Oh yeah, that’s right…He just decided to pickle his newborn nephew in a wine cask…Freakin’ adorable.

 

Let’s take a chronological look at the best, most underrated, and possibly even unknown to you, Your Kid Is A Monster Movies over the years following The Other.

 

The Brood (1979) – From the warped and wonderful mind of David Cronenberg comes this bizarre tale of psychotherapy gone more horribly wrong than it usually does. Oliver Reed plays Dr. Reglan, who uses an experimental therapy to help a former abuse victim deal with her inner demons. But he doesn’t comprehend the way she deals with them…What’s that?…I’m sorry?…How does she deal with them, you ask? Well…She gives birth to them…And then these creepy little homicidal inner-children do all sorts of horrible things on her behalf. There are some startling and disturbing images here, and those images will stay, forever trapped in your noggin. Cronenberg‘s fascination with science and technology coalescing with human physiology is ever-present, ever-accounted for…And boy is it ever looking for trouble.

 

The Good Son (1993) – I know that probably everyone out there has seen this chiller, but I couldn’t resist. I was reminded of this film, while watching Orphan (Which has to be on the list too, whether you like it or not), and I realized that the escalation of evil during the middle and last acts, fill the audience with the same anxiety-inducing dread that I felt when I watched The Good Son. And wasn’t it a great thing having the kid from Uncle Buck and Home Alone be evil incarnate? I know I enjoyed it. The taut and well written script comes from Ian McEwan, acclaimed author of the novel, Atonement. But in this film, I have to give all the credit to Macaulay Culkin for his portrayal of Henry Evans…I mean, when his mom is trying to get him to confess…and he sorta does…The ever-optimistic mother says,”We’ll get you help.” When he ever responded with, “You don’t look too good, Mom…Looks like you need the help.” I absolutely freakin’ lost it. 

 

 Joshua (2007) – I am going to be a bit tight-lipped about this film…Sam Rockwell (Moon) and Vera Farmiga (Bates Motel) star as the parents of Joshua, played masterfully by Jacob Kogan (Star Trek). When a new baby arrives, it typically will take a toll on a family…But not like this. As you climb the spiral staircase that is this film, getting to the top is the least of your worries. You’re going to take each step, as if there is a pointy Lego piece awaiting your shoeless footfall…The film tries to encourage you by letting you know how far up the staircase you have gotten, but it ends up making you want to turn and run back down the other way. And then, when you finally reach that last step…

 

 The Children (2008) – This British film is a perfect example of the type of film that I am spotlighting with this list. Two families go on holiday for New Years, in the secluded, snow-covered English countryside…One of the kids, Paulie, immediately starts displaying symptoms, that his parents write off as motion sickness from the journey…Oh, Paulie’s sick allright, he’s just not car sick. The illness spreads from child to child rather quickly, and soon, all of the children are stricken with this…Well…Let’s call it…The Evil Virus. The kids are relentless, their attacks are vicious, and they are directed solely at their powerless parental units. Once this fun little holiday goes south…Oh man…It never comes back.

 

Orphan (2009) – But we’ve already seen this one…I know, I know…Stop whining. There were plenty of people a few years back that hadn’t seen it, so you just never know. Besides, how could I not add it to the list? As I mentioned, this film and The Good Son, both nail the “escalating evil formula” and that formula works particularly well with this one. Especially as the film moves closer and closer to its big reveal. And that separates Orphan from The Good Son…See, we know relatively quickly that Henry(Culkin) is a psycho, and it’s pretty well established that Esther would be in the same hospital ward with him, but with this little girl…Oh, there’s so much more.

 

Case 39 (2009) – I stumbled upon this after Silver Linings Playbook came out…I was sort of checking out things that I hadn’t seen from Bradley Cooper‘s filmography…Christian Alvart, who later directed the dark and creepy sci-fi flick, Pandorum, brings us this twisted tale of foster care gone wrong. Renée Zellweger plays Emily, a social worker who tries to protect a child named Lilith from an abusive home. Lilith, played by Jodelle Ferland, insists that she be taken care of by Emily, and stay with her until permanent foster care can be arranged. And that’s when things start to get…A bit messed up.  Cooper tries to help his friend Emily, but the only island in these dark and murky waters that is swimming distance from Emily is, Ian McShane (Swearengen!) as the savvy Detective Barron. Case 39 was a compelling surprise of a film that never should have been under the radar.

 

We Need To Talk About Kevin (2011) – Whoa boy…Do we really need to talk about Kevin? Because…I don’t think I’m ready. This film sticks in yer craw, like a chewed-up blob of Bazooka sticks in your hair. You just can’t get it out. I am once again compelled to keep my trap partially shut on this one. Jasper Newell did his creepy best as young Kevin, making the most mundane aspects of parenting difficult in new and horrifying ways. But for me, I will always think of Ezra Miller (The Perks of Being a Wallflower), as Kevin…Dude, this kid creeped me out so much that I was like, you sure he’s not playing The Reverse-Flash in the new Justice League movie? But that’s the call sign of a great actor…I recently saw his brilliant and touching performance in The Perks of Being a Wallflower, and amazingly, there wasn’t a single solitary shred of Kevin there.